Following the success of Beetlejuice in 1988 director Tim Burton was chosen to helm the first film chronicling the crime fighting adventures of Batman. The film was a huge success grossing over $400,000,000 worldwide and spawning three sequels. Burton’s Batman was also a success with critics, earning a score of 71% on Rottentomatoes.com and a 66% on Metacritic.com. But they are so very wrong.
CHARACTERS AND CASTING:
Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne/Batman
o Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne is one of the biggest miscasts in super hero movie history. His ability to play manic characters (Beetlejuice, Multiplicity) would have made for a much more effective Joker. Several other problems arise from this casting such as:
o Keaton was born in 1951, making him 38 when this movie was released. As we all know Batman has no super powers so 38 for him would be 38 for any other person. And per the opening scene he is trying to get his name out. So, who starts their super hero, crime fighting career at almost 40? This feels more like a mid-life crisis than a lifelong quest for vengeance.
o Keaton is also 5’9 and pretty slender, putting him around 150 pounds. The homeless muggers in the opening scene are bigger than him. The Joker’s henchmen are bigger than him. This makes it a lot more unbelievable that he would be able to carry the weight of the bat suit and maneuver as easily as he does.
o Physical limitations aside, the biggest problem is that Keaton plays Bruce Wayne as an aloof, socially awkward weirdo. He has no redeeming qualities other than he’s rich. He’s absolutely bored and boring as Bruce Wayne. His portrayal of Wayne as a listless character with no personality is someone the audience will have no way to identify with him. Instead they will just be waiting for him to put on the suit.
Jack Nicholson as The Joker:
o In theory this is an awesome choice. Jack has played over the top, insane characters almost as often as Tom Cruise has played cocky pretty boys. While he does have a few good scenes (the museum trashing being my favorite) it almost seems as if he is going through the motions. I always felt something was off but I couldn’t put my finger on it until Batman: The Animated Series began its run with Mark Hamill voicing a perfect Joker. That was the difference. Jack never became The Joker. He made The Joker into Jack Nicholson. This is 50% on him and 50% on Tim Burton.
Kim Basinger as Vicki Vale:
o She screams. She faints. She screams. She gets kidnapped. She screams. She instantly falls for a bizarre billionaire. She is possibly raped by said billionaire and then spends the rest of the movie following him and trying to cling to him. By far the worst of the ‘Bat-Loves.’
Robert Wuhl as Alexander Knox:
o Wuhl’s performance is acceptable. However Alexander Knox is the biggest, most unnecessary dope ever written into a Batman film. He isn’t funny enough to be comic relief, not smart enough to be a source of exposition and not radical enough to be a satire of news reporters. He lives and works Gotham City but has no idea who Bruce Wayne is? Give me a break. Bruce Wayne is Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Paris Hilton and the Kennedys rolled into one. At least the Schumacher movies have celebrity reporters who know what Bruce Wayne looks like. Good grief Tim Burton is making me cite Schumacher’s Batman as a good example of something. God help me.
Michael Gough as Alfred:
o Gough is a perfect Alfred. Even though he has limited screen time and he is responsible for the biggest security breach in super hero history he’s great. He conveys the warmth and friendship of a kindly grandfather. If only he had Nolan’s script to work with.
Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent:
o Billy Dee Williams is the man. He is just so cool that you can’t help but like him. I would have loved to see him tackle Two-Face instead of Tommy Lee Jones. The contrast between his good and bad side would have been phenomenal to watch.
There are other actors and characters that I could analyze but they aren’t pivotal or given enough screen time to matter. The minor characters are just that. If you’ve seen any episode of any Batman show you can fill in the blanks regarding them.
SCENES AND PLOTPOINTS
Batman's debut scene:
o Two homeless drug addicted muggers sit on a roof and talk about Batman, debating his existence. Batman attacks and tells these two homeless, drug addicted small time criminals to spread word of his existence. They were already talking about him as an urban legend. Word is out that he exists, at least to that social circle. Policemen, journalists, lawyers aren’t going to believe the word of these guys. Maybe if it was cat burglar or a bank robber. You know, someone NOT ON DRUGS who would get the word out to a more organized criminal circle.
Parade organizing scene:
o Lt. Eckhardt, Harvey Dent and Mayor Borg are discussing the Gotham City Parade. Dent says ‘We may be celebrating in bankruptcy court. This festival is $250,000 in the red and we haven’t seen one red balloon.’ In 1988 South Korea spent 1.66 BILLION on the Olympics. I’m sure $250,000 was spent on toilet paper alone. I’m also positive that Bruce Wayne rose more than enough money through his charity casino party to pay for the accrued debts.
Bruce Wayne’s and Vicki Vale’s one and only date:
o Oh boy, here we go. First off, these two characters are so incredibly flat in this scene it reminds me of Attack of the Clones. This maelstrom of boredom is fueled by the lack of on screen chemistry between Keaton and Basinger. Wayne is uninterested in anything Vale seems to have to say, while Vale is not at all concerned or put off by Wayne’s awkward dinner plans. These characters do not act like normal people at all and I defy anyone to can point to any evidence that proves these two have any real feelings for each other. I just realized I’ve said the same thing about Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Michael Gough tries to save the scene with a few lines of dialogue that convey more love and endearment than anything from these two characters say throughout the movie. Then to top it all off Wayne and Vale are walking up the staircase when she says: “I feel a little drunk. And you’re not anything.” They proceed to sleep together. Hey guys, try doing this now and see what happens. Ben Roethlisberger got into more trouble for much less. In any realistic scenario Bruce Wayne would end up on Gotham City’s sex offender list.
The Courthouse Steps:
o This is the first time we see the Joker out on the streets. He is wearing a tux and carrying a lethal quill pen. From the time he throws the quill like a dart into a crime boss’s neck and the time his henchmen start firing there is approximately a 5 second delay. This wouldn’t be a problem except there are TWO POLICEMEN less than 15 feet away watching the whole thing! They would have at pounced on the Joker immediately and arrested him for assault, then murder. Instead they stand like statues waiting to be fired upon.
The Joker Murdered Bruce Wayne’s Parents:
o This is one of the two most common complaints regarding this movie but I’ll be quick with this one. If Batman is able to get his revenge on the person responsible for ruining his life he has no need to be Batman afterwards. The tragedy of Batman is that he will never be able to punish the man responsible and must project Joe Cool onto every criminal he ever confronts. Catharsis is his white whale. He will never be able to obtain it and he has become addicted to the search.
Alfred brings Vicki Vale to the Batcave:
o This is the second of the most common complaints about this movie but I still feel obligated to mention it here. I understand Alfred likes Vicki but he has only met her once (twice if you could the Wayne Manor charity night). Bruce has only had one date with her and this is enough for Alfred to expose his biggest secret, potentially landing him and his boss/best friend/son in massive amounts of trouble. She hasn’t invested anything into this relationship compared to the fame and professional recognition she would get from publishing a story about a billionaire turned crime fighter. It is so irresponsible Alfred should have been fired on the spot.
Vicki and Bruce’s conversation in the Batcave:
o This is where the movie goes from watchable if a little boring to completely intolerable. Upon being brought to the cave Vicki and Bruce have the most generic action movie discussion a male and female lead can possibly have. She declares that she has ‘…loved you (Bruce) since I met you.’ Really? You seemed pretty confused and creeped out back at the Wayne Manor party when he admitted he was Bruce Wayne. Bruce basically responds with ‘I gotta do what I gotta do.’
The Parade:
o Right now I’m pulling my hair out. The Joker has committed at least 13 counts of murder according to the Gotham newspaper. He has admitted to killing at least 3 people when he hijacked the news broadcast. He is riding down Main Street on a parade float. Parade floats travel approximately 2.5 MPH (thanks Google). I understand the general public has accepted and supported filthy rich murderers. Hell, people still buy Ray Lewis jerseys and Charles Manson t-shirts. However the police should probably do something about this. The feds did all they could to bust Al Capone for tax evasion. I doubt The Joker has a permit for that float. RUN OUT AND GRAB HIM! No? Oh, all right.
Big Stupid Crappy Looking Ending:
o Following the parade fiasco Batman fights a slew of The Joker’s lackeys in a bell tower. I’ve always wondered if The Joker paid for their matching purple and green jackets or their matching paint jobs on their cars. Once Batman reaches the top of the tower we are treated to a brief, boring, anti-climactic fight where The Joker is completely dominated. The Joker’s death plummet is a special effect that has not aged well with time. It looked really bad at the time but now it looks like something from an SNES cartridge. Don’t believe me? Go watch Hans Gruber’s death fall from Die Hard, then go back and watch The Joker’s. Then remember that Die Hard was released one year before this movie.
RUNNING THEMES:
Like Bathooks? This is your movie:
o Batman and Robin is widely known for having an abundance of grappling hooks and batarangs. But you probably don’t remember that Batman has more of its share of hooks and rangs. With the exception of the Batwing scene Batman uses at least one grappling hook in every scene. In the museum scene and subsequent chase he uses 3 in a span of 115 seconds. I’m just saying Joel Schumacher isn’t the only one guilty of this.
BRUCE WAYNE’S QUESTIONABLE MORALS:
o He date rapes his girlfriend.
I don’t care what anyone says. If you get a woman drunk sleep with her you’re going to need a lawyer. To either keep you out of jail or to settle out of court, take your pick.
o He blows up a chemical factory.
I know The Joker had cronies in there but I’m sure there was a cleaning lady or a pizza delivery guy somewhere in there. Batman has always gone out of his way NOT to kill people? Screw that! We need a KA-BOOM!
o He fires machine guns on crowded city streets.
Countless people could be injured or killed and it would be his fault. But he has to try to get to the guy he just missed by destroying a multi-million dollar factory. But he misses anyway. And then he gets taken out be a single shot. *face palms*
The root cause of the dislike that I have for this movie truly lies with one man: Tim Burton. And I’m not one of those people how hate the guy. I happen to like quite a few of his movies, Ed Wood and Big Fish in particular. His approach to this project was just completely wrong. When he has a strong script and follows it he can make a strong film. With Batman he was more concerned with making a ‘Tim Burton Movie’ and putting his signature on it that he forgot he was making a Batman movie. He let the balance of the movie be thrown off completely by not reeling in Jack Nicholson when he started chewing scenery. His lack of direction also hurt Keaton and Basinger who were just hung out to dry while Burton focused on set design. It amazes me how many people like this movie and how many still say it’s their favorite Batman movie. Time has corrected my view of this film, that’s for sure.
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